Well, i guess i need to borrow this space for some personal rantings.
Less than a year, he's married. To be honest, I've been hoping he will try to salvage the rs after what we have gone through before. But i know he truly did love me, he only need to find a woman to marry and have kids now.
In the past during the 1st year, i don't call him or meet him much on weekends or public holidays because i wanted to be his very understanding gf who supported him in his career. His career did pick up well in the 2nd year and that's when he became more ambitious and money-minded. He overlooked how much i supported him in the past. I will never be that understanding again. :) i went through the hard process of being supportive, but another lady enjoyed the fruits which i planted. I felt really foolish.
Another foolish thing is we were always quarrelling over banquet which he does not want. Im ok with a simple dinner with families, but why did we keep having stupid arguments in the past. Sigh. He now did a small banquet, it's ridiculous, isn't it? Haiz...
I keep asking myself why didn't i listen to him? But if i listen to him, i lost myself, lost my family & friends too! As a woman, we must have our own stand too! My family who have seen the world (not like typical aunties type) have the basic request so that their daughter will be blessed with happiness for life. But they know he will not give the type of happiness a woman required. (I'm close to my family & relatives, i cannot distance myself from them if we did get married.)
I guess i taught him many things. He used to hate his parents to the core, but i have taught him to be family-oriented over the years. This is something good. I believe he became a better person to treat a partner in rs.
I vow never to be a man's first lover again, because i do not wish to teach them what love/rs should be.
If you seen this, i want to say i did truly love you even till now. I rejected many guys this period of time because i still have not let go that feelings. But i will definitely let go of it now.